Juggling Elephants Blog

There has been a lot of information lately on dealing with stress and difficult times. A real simple question related to our attitudes is, "Are you a orange or a grapefruit when you come under pressure?" Are you sweet when you are stressed or are you sour?

It is very easy to let our emotions run away with us. For most people, it takes a constant and/or consistent reminder to stay positive and happy. So, what will it be for you? What will remind you to stay positive? Try hanging a picture and/or quote somewhere that you see regularly that acts as a reminder. Place it on the bathroom mirror, on the wall in your office or on the dashboard of your car.

Consider another strategy related to leaving your stress and frustrations from your work in the office. Before you walk into your home, ceremonially place your worries and frustrations somewhere outside or in your garage before you enter. Hang them up. Bury them. Leave them in the car. Don't worry, they will be there in the morning when you leave for work. But, leave them behind and forget about them so that your family and friends don't have to deal with them as well. Put a smile on your face and then walk in the door.

So why is this important? Why should you be sweet and not sour? The world needs you to be inspiring. There is a need for more people that are lifting others up and figuring out ways to make things better. Those that are positive and focus on solutions and don't get consumed with all that is wrong (which can be paralyzing) seem to come out on top in the end. Even if you don't end up on top, you will be rewarded with strong relationships in your 3 rings. People want to be around people that are kind, positive and happy.

The old song, "Accentuate the Positive" holds sound advice that is very relevant today: "You've gotta accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative, latch on to the affirmative, don't mess with Mister In-between." Be the ringmaster. Be an orange!

Labels: stress reduction, worry

Running away FOR the holidays. Running away FROM the holidays. Skipping the holidays. The concept is not one of disrespect for the celebration of the religious holidays at this time of the year. The concept is one of getting away from the stress and pressure of things that our holiday celebrations can sometimes turn into.

Several years ago, we had a situation in our family that brought this concept home to us. As a struggling family on a budget, much effort was put into finding "good buys" and the right gifts for our young family. Many hours of shopping and bargain hunting turned into a pile of unwrapped gifts left in the middle of the room by our young children for us to pick up. They very much enjoyed unwrapping the presents but in the end, they had just received a bunch of "stuff" that they would add to all the other "stuff" in their rooms. My wife and I were a little angry, we were tired, but mostly concerned of what the holidays had turned into for our family. After some thought and discussion we made the decision to run away for the holidays next year. A budget was put in place and plans were made.

In the end, the holiday that we "ran away" is one of the most memorable and enjoyable times that we have ever had. Looking back it wasn't the location (although being in a warm climate didn't hurt). But it was the time we spend together. We saw movies, we put puzzles together, we went on walks, we played in the swimming pool and we went to the zoo. The kids loved it. They didn't miss the gifts. It really was a gift of time together that we gave the family. There wasn't the rush to get all the shopping done or the entire cleanup afterwards. We just enjoyed one another's company. Not to mention, it was a true "intermission" for Mom and Dad.

So, an idea is proposed. Even if you don't go away for the holidays, consider not giving your friends and family presents that will be tucked away in a closet or broken in a few days. Consider giving the gift of time. Drive around town and look at Christmas lights, buy a puzzle and work on it together while watching movies, get out old board games and play them together. Give out coupons for going to the recreation center and swimming, seeing a dollar movie, walking downtown and window shopping. It doesn't need to be as drastic as leaving town for a vacation.



It seems like we live in a world where most basic needs are met. But what some families and relationships really hunger for is time together. Consider cutting out some of the hustle and bustle and giving a more valuable gift this year-the gift of your time.

In the news recently was the story of a woman who got caught up in the old "Nigerian Scam" and lost $400,000. The Nigerian Scam in essence is an email swindle where a victim will receive a message promising them millions of dollars if they will only help out with a little money up front.

This scam has been around for a LONG time. Anyone who has had a "free" email address account for some time has probably received something similar in their e mail box. What was interesting was the variation on the theme that lured the reported individual into mortgaging her house, taking out a lien on the family car, and running through her husband's retirement account. First of all, the scammer's identified themselves as an actual relative by name. Next, they started out asking for only $100. Then they began sending "official" forged documents from the bank of Nigeria and the United Nations. Pretty soon, she was hooked even though her bank and family members repeatedly told her it was a scam.

It would be wonderful if life was full of "Cinderella Stories" and opportunities where someone actually gets millions of dollars for being generous and helping someone out. It is unfortunate that there are people in this world that take advantage of people's good nature. A couple of "take aways" and reminders after reading this story:

• If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. This sounds so pessimistic, but it's a correct guiding principle. If someone is telling you that you can make a six figure salary working from home only 2 hours per week, some alarms should go off in your head.
• Do some research first and listen to trusted advisers and members of your family. Check out http://www.snopes.com/. You can search the Snopes database for scams or "urban legends" and see if an offer/story is legitimate. It is amazing that recently (as recently as 2 days ago) that people will still forward a "scam e mail" to their whole email contact database, thinking that Bill Gates will send them $100 per email address. Do your homework.
• Don't invest what you can't afford to lose. If you are going to lend someone money or invest in a "new opportunity" make sure you do it with a strong conviction that this is money you are willing to lose forever. What impact will investing your money have if you lose it? If it means you won't be able to retire or fulfill dreams you have had for 40 years... don't do it!

In general, we all have to work very hard for our money. We should work just as hard at protecting it and spending it wisely.

Labels: money management

As full holiday mode quickly approaches, you may be "wishing" things were different. You wish you could offer more gifts to your family. You wish you could have a bigger holiday celebration at work. You wish you could give those around you some uplifting news in these uncertain times. In circus terms, you are "outside the tent." Dwelling on these wishes distracts you from the performance that needs to be completed-Now!

The next time you catch yourself "wishing" ask yourself, "But what can I do now?" Some examples might be:

• Give your family the gift of quality time. Turn off your mobile phone, let the answering machine get any incoming calls, refrain from checking e mails and spend your time mentally and physically focused on them.
• For your employees, take a more personal approach. If you work in a small department, take two or three people to lunch each day. Engage them in enjoyable conversation where you can give them your undivided attention. Reflect on their achievements during the year. Celebrate them.

Knute Rockne, one of the greatest football coaches of the 20th century, had a quote we would all do well to remember when we are "wishing:"

Do not let what you can not do get in the way of what you CAN do.

Labels: management, relationships, worry

Labels: self-improvement

What a pungent phrase! A recent review of the "Big 3" automakers in the United States used the phrase "accelerated irrelevance" in describing how the industry had reached it's current poor state of affairs. I think it could aptly apply to how many of us move through our day, week and sometimes, our very lives.

The phrase brings to mind the idea of moving more quickly away from what is relevant or important. It means choices made that are not grounded in a person (or industry's) purpose or mission statement. It is shaky ground to say the least.

Think about the last choice you made that moved you quickly away from what was more important. Was it an unimportant task you took on at home? How about a management decision you made at work that not only took you away from what was relevant, but it also propelled the people on your team in the same direction as well? One poor choice led to another until you were on a fast track to nowhere-nowhere important to be more specific.

The antithesis of the phrase is even more interesting: "Accelerated relevance." What choices could you make today that would move you more quickly back to what is important? Remember, we are all working and living at a breakneck pace-but in what direction (and how quickly) are we moving?

Labels: burnout, multi-tasking, scheduling, stress reduction, work/life balance

Grumpy. Complaining. Pessimist. Not adjectives you would use to describe a good ringmaster... but I bet you have been a lot more like that lately. And you know that it does have a big effect on the performers in your circus as well as your audience.

I recently received an e mail solicitation from the Applied Neuroscience Institute. Yes I know it sounds strange... think "deep research on positive mental attitude." They have a free "Positive Mind Test" you can take in a few seconds and you will get your results back via e mail in a couple of days. I was adventurous and decided to try it because I know the impact my "positivity" has on my motivation and ability to get things done.

The test results were, as the English would say, "spot on." It highlighted both my strengths and weaknesses-and gave a few simple tips on being more positive. I have used several of them this week to stay more focused with my mind.

I encourage you to take the test to better understand how your mental well being is affecting your ability to get your most important things done.

Here's the link to their site: http://www.appliedneuroscienceinstitute.com/ You'll see where to click for the test once you navigate to their page.

Labels: attitude, self-improvement

Almost every business (and individual, family and household) is looking for ways to reduce their spending. In the December 8 issue of Fortune Magazine, there is a great regular column by Jia Lynn Young entitled First. The following question was asked to a panel of 3 executives from major companies: I need to cut costs dramatically. How can I find smart ways to do it?

You'll have to buy the magazine or subscribe to Fortune to get the full article, but the panel as asked 3 questions to guide their responses. They were:

• How do I identify where I'm spending too much?
• Are there some cuts that are not worth taking?
• What are some reductions companies often overlook?

Reflecting on your own answers is a good way to determine if your business is prepared to weather these difficult times and if you have the right leadership strategy. If you struggle with any of them, get the article.

Labels: leadership, strategic planning

Concerned about your job? Who wouldn't be with the continued slumping of the economy and almost daily announcements of more job layoffs. The last thing many of us want is a circus with a work ring and no acts in it.

Salary.com has a good slide show with 10 Tips To Help Recession-Proof Your Job. The tips given in the slide show are:

• Keep your skills current.
• Don't pull a vanishing act. (i.e. Be visible)
• Make yourself indispensable.
• Keep your attitude in check.
• Start networking now.
• Update your resume.
• Finish your degree.
• Broaden, rather than deepen your skills.
• Consider learning a trade or specific skills.

You can find more information on each tip in the slide show.

Labels: career, jobs, worry